this is why you can't have nice things america

so... you know those times when you are working so hard and have so much to do that the only thing you can do to keep your brain from going full zombie {pangs for face meat included} is to mindlessly surf the web... 

well today... this is what i found...
and it's worse than people taking pictures with iPads

america. 

this is why you cannot have nice things

baby wigs. 

for purchase.

for the low price of $30.00.
"for the girl who has everything...except hair"

http://baby-bangs.com

{hangs head in shame}

only two people follow my blog.

so there it is... i'm admitting to the world that i only have two followers. that' s right. it's high school all over. two friends. at least now i don't have to make excuses for not going to dances {or at least i don't feel obligated to do so}. aaaaannnnyyyyywwwwwhhhhoooo. i feel like things are starting to pick up again. here are the highlights of the past six months:

• i got a promotion
• i made a pintrest account
• mike and i watched 5 seasons of 30rock
• mike graduated
• we went to europe
• ran ragnar
• mike applied for medical school

 there it is... some awesome things and some less awesome things.

so since this post is boring. here ya go

old man crushes

i don't know what it is. sure, i could blame it on the fact that the main father figure in my life was my grandpa or possibly that since my grandma and i are so close maybe we're developing the same taste in men. there are lots of possibilities, but one thing is for sure...

my name is
Jess Reynolds
and i have some serious old man crushes.

it's no secret to my husband that i am obsessed with liam neeson. in fact, i have convinced mike that when the time comes and we have children, we will be naming one of our sons {ins-alla} liam and raise him well aware of his namesake.

so here it is. a tribute to all of my old man crushes.

~liam neeson~

even as a jedi he is beautiful

and don't forget his "particular set of skills" in taken


and of course (not that anyone ever doubted he wouldn't) he's beautiful naked

~gary oldman~
(right there in the name. old-man.)

c'mon! he has been dracula AND sirius black!

and last but not least....

~alan rickman~

he's awesome!
he's been col. christopher brandon, that guy in die hard, the voice of God

snape

the boss in love/actually that made every girl in the world wish they were that skank that works for him...

you know....
this one?
{lucky skank}

anyway, to the old man loves of my life, just know that if you ever come to salt lake,
you'll always have somewhere to stay.

our first house

Mike and I both come from families that have had a lot of problems - they're better for the most part and very functional now but ya know, we both had it a little rough growing up. We decided before we got married that no matter what, our relationship would always come first. This has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. No marriage is perfect but our relationship is so strong and we really are the best of friends. We agreed that one sure way to maintain a strong and healthy relationship is to take time every week for
"date night" and I am happy to say that (in our whopping year and a half of marriage) we haven't missed a single week!

Below, you will find our very first Christmas date of the year!

yes, it was disgusting but don't let him fool you...

it didn't keep him from eating it.




That's right. this house was made in memory of the late great Michael Jackson... just kidding Mike and Jess FTW!

Mike and I both love Christmas. We love thinking of the perfect gifts for others and anticipate watching them being opened. In my teens I had a friend whose parent had this AMAZING idea that for Christmas (since they had a large family and kids tend to get jealous over presents and what not) they would buy a specific wrapping paper for each child and only the parents knew which paper (and present) belonged to which child. Now, Mike and I a ways away from having any children but we both love this idea and so we decided to start the tradition. We each picked out what wrapping paper we wanted (well... i let mike pick from a selected few. I refused to let sponge bob make his home under our Christmas tree this year). Mike chose gold and I chose this cute green damask print that sort of resembles our curtains. THANKFULLY not enough to be tacky.

This year (after getting this FABULOUS idea from a friend of mine Tigan Robinson) I decided that in my quest for perfection ( it'll be a LOOONNNGGG quest) I would make all of our Christmas bows. Below are pictures of a few of them and then you can see the cute sparkly bows i made for my presents (they are in the pictures with the tree)

*side note* i would quickly like to apologize for the poor picture quality. as you may remember reading about our mishap in Peru, my camera (and all of my other tech-y gadgets) were stolen. My wonderful uncle was nice enough to give me one of his old android phones; however, the camera on it doesn't have a flash so... a lot of my pictures are blurry for the time being.

good news to my husband and people who care about random junk like this EVERYWHERE!

i came across this article today during my lunch break. some of you may remember that a few months ago mike's poor little car was totaled. during the interim period between cars, the insurance of the guy who hit mike paid for him to have a rental car. it was an hhr. i think the picture speaks for itself and mike's feelings towards it.

i drove it a few times and i have to admit, not only is it hideous on the outside but it is a BEAST to drive...for so many reasons.

anyway, here's to you chevy hhr. you are an abomination.

don't come back.

Cars Being Retired in 2012

Once upon a time Chrysler took a boring small car (the Neon), grafted a body that recalled 1930s-era roadsters on top of it and created the PT Cruiser. Seeing Chrysler's initial success, GM copied Chrysler's play step by step — hiring the PT Cruiser's designer to draw a body meant to evoke the 1930s-era Suburbans and using the chassis of the compact Cobalt sedan. Imitation may be flattery at its most sincere, but GM didn't copy Chrysler's sales; the HHR was big and cheap but thirsty, and like the PT never received enough updates to stay current — although the supercharged SS version ranks as one of the best modern sleepers available.

what's better than an adorable pendguin or a nice sweater??? an adorable penguin IN a nice sweater!

for those of you who don't know, i happen to LOVE all things penguin. i just think that they are the most adorable things on the planet. just today i stumbled across this little story that i couldn't keep from blogging.

Knitters make sweaters for penguins after oil spill

It's a sad story with a happy twist. Blue penguins in New Zealand have been soaked with oil after a container ship ran aground near the east coast of the country's North Island earlier this month. New Zealand’s Environment Minister Nick Smith has described the oil spill as the nation’s "most significant maritime disaster."

In their oil-soaked state, the birds shouldn’t preen themselves because their feathers are contaminated. They also need help staying warm before and after rescue workers do what they can to clean them up.

So Skeinz, a knitting shop in Napier, New Zealand, put out a call for knitters to make little sweaters for penguins in need. And boy, have knitters around the world responded. One blog post from the folks at Skeinz.com ran under the headline “It’s raining jumpers.” Another ran with the headline “We have Critical Mass” — but Skeinz is still encouraging determined knitters to send their handiwork along to “keep stocks available for the Wildlife Rescue Team to draw from if required.”

leave it to sweater clad penguins to make an oil spill story ADORABLE!

our lives in one picture.